RUN, MERVYN, RUN

Just exploring and minding my own business, when I hear clumping behind me...

Blizzard makes mistakes too! ..and funnies.

This is a small collection of rants and suggestions/answers by Blizz employees. enjoy!


WTB sex change?


Meat wall?

Can my image have a helmet please? He is speshel.

I always thought Ansel was the best functioning drunk... perhaps not.

...more funny to come

News from Lich King

STOP! If you are looking for something funny leave this thread.

The TI times staff has officially stopped strike! Well at least I have. Mervyn is still stuck at level 73 QQing about how nerfed his class is.

Now onto the good stuff!

Lich King is the second expansion released by Blizzard entertainment. It delves much deeper into the lore of the World of Warcraft series and for the most part is beautifully done. Some highlights include:

* More interaction with the world surrounding you. This includes siege weapons, introduction of the death knights and lore, a darker game setting and an overall better way of incorporating you into the lore.

* The ability to level to 80. duh! Time to grind again!

* The introduction of many new instances. Yeah, this is not really news. However, did I mention that most of the new instances only take about 45 minutes? Yeah. Much better design in my opinion.

* New 10 and 25 man dungeons. Well... not really. Naxx is the start of your progression. Lots of fun in there!

* New spells and abilities that will blow your mind... and some that wont. Some will melt your mind! Literally.

* Pet and mount tabs. Thank you sweet baby Jesus.

* Shadow effects finally introduced. They take the game to a whole- nutha - level!

* Death knight starting area rocks!

* Inscription will allow for more spec/class diversity.

* Most 51 point talents are really well designed.

* All tanking classes/specs will be able to tank endgame! (Hopefully. This is still being worked out!)


So much more is being implemented. I will leave you guys with this while I go back to choking my chicken. Hopefully that will get some creative juices flowing...














with the newly implemented leash for pets. Geez guys! Get your minds out of the toilet!

Are you an iLoser?

Do you or have you ever:

• Said double you tee eff, oh em gee, or roflcopter?
• Ever said gold instead of dollar?
• Found yourself doing the night elf dance
• Played video games at work
• Watched youtube videos of video games at work
• Talked to coworkers about how you pwn noobs and melt faces

If you have answered yes to any of these questions I have a solution for you

For the low low price of $0.00 per month you can experience the most outstanding new game on the market: World of Lifecraft. Along with billions of other players you can interact in a glorious 3d world. Like it's digital brethren, World of Lifecraft offers many features you will love. These include:

• Professions: You have a plethora of options. This ranges from the standard options that World of Warcraft gives us, but also includes:

1. Street pharmacist
   
2. "lady" or "gentleman" of the night (also may be referred to as the office *&^%)
   
3. Widow washer
4. Trash man
5. President

• Character selection : World of Lifecraft houses much more than the 8 classes we are used to . Some of the classes include:

1. Fake whiteboy thugs
2. Arrogant douche bags
   
3. Old people that should not be riding mounts
   
4. Dumb people
   
5. Dumb people who run our country
6. Angry bottoms

• Vendors: Tired of those damn vendors not having a particular item? World of Lifecraft solves this:

1. Walmart
2. Target (Like Walmart, minus douche bags and fake white thugs)
3. Costco
4. Sam's club

• Gear: Tired of that funky garb? Wat to be stylin it up like a G? WOL offers:

1. Gap: For the metro sexual man in you
2. JC Penny: People who like overpriced clothes
3. The Good Will: Caters specifically to Bdub and her 37 illegitimate chillren. JK <3 you Miss V
   

Look for WOL 2. This expansion includes:

• Getting Gkicked IRL

Meet the TI Staff

Say hello to Tiahtoon. She is one of the many, many gnomes that work hard behind the scenes to help make TI work as well as it does.

Tiah spent many years training to become a rogue. She learned the basics from the masters in Bael Modan and she took to it well, but she was unfulfilled.

One day on a harrowing trip to Ironforge, she discovered the Auction House, a most wondrous place with people buying and selling, she spent days, fascinated by the fluctuations of the market and the way gold moved around.

Alas, all her learning did no good, as she had no goods to sell and no gold with which to buy things.

That all changed, when her old friend Minicat from Bael Modan recommended she come work for TI, they would supply her the gold and materials to play the market and in return she would get a sense of purpose in life.

Well, Tiah thought about it, and decided that the real sign was in her name... Tiah could stand for The Infinite Auction House and that was the clincher for her.

Now she spends all her time in Ironforge running between the mailbox and the AH (with some side trips to vendor things people are stupid enough to post on the AH for less than vendor value).

She works tirelessly in the Auction house, she sells guild items that no one wants, she buys up deals whenever she can to make a few extra gold, sells off overstocks in the guild bank and she sets the prices on the raiding goods each week for sale to members at a 70% discount, that her hard work helps subsidize.

We, the editors of the TI Times, thought it was important for the members to start seeing and appreciating the little people who help make this guild what it is.

Naming Names

List of Infinite terms and their meanings:

Doing a "Remen" -- A mistaken pull that looks like it is going to wipe the raid, but actually only kills the puller.

Pulling a "Trill" -- Attacking one of the Hellfire Channelers before the raid is ready and causing a wipe or reset. (Formerly known as Pulling a Mervyn)

Becoming "Mervyn" -- This is when you start a boss fight with either your melee or ranged weapon broken.

A "Skysharra" -- Any mention of sexual innuendo or risque discussion. (Also a state of being horny when your partner is away for a long time.)

"The Blkwidow"- Screaming at your chilren while eating a bucket of fried chicken and scissoring Joslin. All of this occurs while playing.

The "BW" -- Any comment that is mis-pronounced or in such a strange accent or pronunciation that it is unintelligible. (As in, "Sorry say that again, you BWed it")

The "Mckee"- DI(ing) a raid member when a water elemental dies.

Sporting the "Kaistlin"- Tanking in your frost gear even though we killed Hydross 10 minutes ago.

Rocking out the "Helyea"- Dying 19 times on trash because you mash your circle of healing button! WTB MORE COH!!! <3

Kickin' it "Soraxen" Style- Dying immediately after a BR, only to be BR'd yet again!

"Kush"ing it -- Doing it all! Tanking, DPSing, Healing all while directing traffic and breast feeding your baby.

A cold "Wintersborne" -- any evil thought, notion or microphone anomaly that make you sound evil.

There is a comment section below; please add your own.

Whine, whine whine...

"Oh noes... Leg & Merv haven't published in a while!"

"Hey -- get back to writing you slackers!"

"Oh... c'mon, write some more posts on that cool web site."

Yeah, yeah... you all want us to write blog entries -- funny entries about things that are going on in the guild.

But here is the problem... and it is, at least for me, two-fold.

With the exception of BW... you guys have not done ANYTHING worth writing about.

Look, we're not going to write about taking down A'lar or any of the good stuff, we want to write about the DRAMA! The funny! The mis-quotes. Do you know what the funniest thing that has happened lately? Mervyn had to melee Leo on our last attack because he didn't know his bow was broken! And that-- dear friends, is all about ME! I'm not here to write funny stories about me, I'm here to make fun of YOU!

The other problem is BW is my class leader and she gives me lots of great pots & things every week, so I am not going to write about her -- I will leave that for Legarius to do (which he does well.)

So, if you want me write about stuff. Do things! Wipe the raid in a spectacular way. Do something incredibly n00bish. Say something really, really stupid.

You want these magic fingers to do their typing, that's what I need from you.

Now get out there an act like an idiot!